XD
Me: Hey 4000 pageviews...WOAH 4000 PAGEVIEWS!
It hit me a few seconds later. Sorry, I'm slow. Anyway, I hit 4000 pageviews--that's an achievement! It really brightens up my mood considering the fact that I lost my thumbdrive which has all of my 14 years of important (and some unimportant) computer work. Thankfully, Shades of Gray, which is one of my most important files, is still retrievable. I sent it to a friend by email, so I have it in my Sent Email box thing on my...email, and I also have all eight chapters here on DA. As far as my poems go, most of them are here on DA, as well. Um...I don't have much schoolwork saved on here for this year yet, so that's good, I guess. Most of my pics are also here on DA. Everything is almost completely lost. Hopefully, I get it back!

Hello, everyone. I haven't written a journal here in more than a month! My bad... Well, there really hasn't been too much to write about.

Anyway, I'm getting closer and closer to having 4,000 pageviews and 150 deviations...The latter will probably take a while. As for Shades of Gray, I really haven't worked on it much for like...many weeks (no definite number has been confirmed). So don't expect chapter nine for a long, long time. Thanks for your (little) support, everyone!

P.S. I got my cellphone back, and, for some strange reason, I'm feeling really nice today. Nice, as in the opposite of mean.

UGH!! So this is what happened: Last Thursday, my family and I went to Mississippi for a family reunion. And when we stayed at the hotel, I accidentally left my cellphone. And it turns out that one of the maids at the hotel stole my cellphone instead of turning it in to the front desk. So now I don't have my cellphone. I really really want it back, but I probably won't get it back. And ontop of that, I accidentally left my bathing suit, as well, and I accidentally broke my favorite necklace. I'm really upset, and I feel so stupid. Gah... I haven't worked on Shades of Gray in a very long time, and probably won't work on it for a while. I also need to do my Summer Reading stuff. So, yeah. If any body wants to contact me, I don't know how you can do that for the time being because I don't get internet that often. So...I don't know.

Yay! I've achieved 3,000 pageviews! And 115 deviations! I made a whole lot of progress since this time last year. Actually, I think I left DA for a little while about this time last year. But, now, I have intention of leaving so that's good. And if you hate me and would really love for me to leave, then too bad!

As for progress on Shades of Gray, that's going good, too. I'm on chapter five right and will hopefully post chapter four soon on here soon. I think it's good on edits for now. Anyway, I'd really like for anyone who reads this journal to go and read Shades of Gray. And there's a prologue, so don't start reading it at chapter one.

Also, I've decided to be nice and feature the work of some good buddies of mine. I would've done this sooner, but only one of them actually gave me something to feature, so for the other's I'm choosing something random. Enjoy!

First off, this is a poem by called "Torturous Love" ([link]
)(It's quite lengthy! ):
My heart aches, non-stop, craving one thing: you
Oh, how I wish I could turn back the hands of time
Convince the Fates to put me on a road less drowned in sorrow
Back a few short months, to a time when I didn’t care about you.
When love didn’t matter to me, when friends were my friends simply because of chance
Not handpicked to help me cope and live, allowing me to swallow my pain
But alas, here I am, thinking of you, every second I live and breath
Without you I am an animated corpse, void of all humanity but pain and sorrow
With you I feel overwhelming joy and life, but aching sadness within my soul
For you will never love me.
Like Lucifer, I was cast from my heaven, wings broken, a Fallen Angel
And now I am forever tormented by glimpses of what could be, and should be
But my Hell is not wreathed by flames; it is ice cold, with only a single candle as hope for salvation
Slowly, my heart freezes, as I drown in my own tears, and the darkness of oblivion fills me
For truly, this is my soul, frozen with my sadness and pain.
All my life, I have kept my heart sealed shut, and love was never possible
But you, you somehow found a way to destroy my barriers and breach my defenses
And then you stole my heart, escaping into the night
Leaving me bewildered and confused, collapsed in a crying heap upon the ground
And you will never give it back, forever taunting me with everything I could ever want
And everything I can never have: you.
I worship you, my true god, perfect in all ways to me
I care for nothing else, not food nor sleep
With every heartbeat I hear your name, as I cry myself to a dreamless sleep
You are my only desire, my only want in this world, or any other.
My thirst for you is unquenchable
Like a nomad wondering a scarred desert
Just your presence fills me with a pleasure so immense that I can hardly think
And I drink in your very aura, taking in every flawless detail.
Yet with each sip, I am left craving more, and I fall deeper into love
Each second I share with you is more valuable to me than anything I have ever known
You leave me wanting all I can never have, and just seeing you makes me want you all the more
And how could I ever resist?
You are the pinnacle of perfection, sculpted like a statue of a god lost to time.
Seemingly exempt from change, your bronze hair shines with light even in darkness
A glowing smile from your scarlet lips brings me crashing to my knees, all previous troubles forgotten
Your carved body towers over me, wrapped in smooth ivory skin, muscles chiseled from stone in perfect detail
And sky blue eyes gaze at me with a strange curiosity, and I tumble into them, absorbed forever.
Though some claim the eyes are the windows to the soul, yours leave me only wanting more, pondering your strange affection for me, and how you do not realize how easily you play with my heart
For my love for you must surely be etched upon my face, every time you compliment me, or absentmindedly touch me.
Deep inside, I scream at you, pleading that you return my love
My small candle of hope my one motivation in thinking that you can love me
But otherwise, I am wrapped in hopelessness, and my desire for you consumes me
I loathe God for doing this to me, letting me fall in love with the one I will never have
But I hate myself even more, for this one Achilles’ heel shall be my downfall.
My friends speak their minds, quickly voicing their concern, yet mocking me
They doubt my love, saying I am young and naïve, inexperienced in life
Yet their doubts turn to fear at my worsening condition
Eventually, even their concerns no longer worry me
How could they know every single twist and turn in the hall of mirrors that is my soul?
I have more experience than they could ever realize
For when I fell love in love with you, my mind was already changing in incomprehensible ways
So here I am, a young lover cursed to know the horrible reality of life
Making me wise beyond my years.
Yet still one problem remains unsolvable, the mystery of my life: you.
The depth of your heart and soul elude me, yet what I do see makes me want you more each day
You strive to make me laugh and smile, to see the shining in my eyes that truly shows itself only to you
I cannot live without you, and while I try my hardest to show happiness
Normal aspects of life now seem trivial, useless, a waste of my numbered days
Nothing else matters, all is forgotten at single thought of you
Making my life impossible to live, for I think of nothing but you.
So here I wander, walking through life, passing by familiar faces, yet not caring
My love for you has flung me outside the flow of time, freed me from it corrosive ways
Save the one inevitable countdown
Till the cruel Fates separate us forever
And I will be left to drown in my misery, to think of you forever more
But you will leave me willingly, oblivious to my maddening loss, grief, and pain
Our parting shall bring to me.
I whimsically remember the days before you
When I could pass you in the hall without a backwards glance
When just the thought of you slipped from my mind like sand in my hands
Unlike the chains they have become today
And I remember when I lived like a carefree planet
Spinning around the cosmos, nothing to pull or chain me to one way of life
But then I found you, my sun, my god, my life.
Now I orbit around you subconsciously, drawn to you like a moth to the flame
But as I draw nearer, I threaten to destroy myself
For I only love you more as I come to know you
Each word you speak to me is one more chain connecting me to you
And when the day comes when we must part forever
And when the sun sets on my life, I will not be able to free myself of you
I will struggle, but in the end my efforts will be in vain
To free myself I must use my heart as the key to these many locks
But you will never relinquish it, and as I die, you will walk into the setting sun, fading from my life
As if you had never existed.

Next is a poem by called "The Wall of Colors" ([link]):
Splat.
As another teenager hurls the fruits of his anger at the wall.
Thunk.
Paintballs flying through the air.
Pppffftt.
The hit the wall, splattering in a cornucopia of colors. The many stories of many lives, being splattered, just like this wall.
Torn apart by the scaffolding.
We come here every month, to do this.
Avenge,
Revenge,
Destroy.
Obliterate our deepest fears,
Our darkest secrets.
Things we can’t dare to whisper, even to our closest friends
That would put us in that jail
The jail people have created for us
The jail composed of hell,
And more.
SPPPPLAAT
That was one
He threw
For when they blew away and died
In the gale that is destruction
Crash.
She hurled that one
Too hard.
But it’s OK.
But not for her.
Things unspoken.
Screams of anguish tear through the alleyways
Boomerang back to me and my big mouth,
Just one of many yells of grief.
Bellows of weighty years of things that should never, ever reach children’s eyes
Or not anyone, for that matter.
This place
It hurts
For all.

Third, is a poem by called "Rosie" ([link]):
Ring around Rosie
Her pockets full of cash
She nervously twirls a lock of hair
Tugs on her birthday sash

They saw her leave the party
With no one by her side
A lonely voice spoke in her head
“You better watch your hide”

But Rosie did not listen
She smiled a pretty smile
She walked out to the parking lot
Said”see you in a while”

Now Rosie has gone missing
Her family sadly cried
“ Poor Rosie has gone missing
Poor Rosie off and died”

Lastly is a poem by called "Soothing Confusion" ([link]):
Soothing Confusion, Careful Stress

Its starts with a hint.

And develops into more
Pulling us toward beautiful darkness
Tugged by soft, spiked vines
We find ourselves soothed with stress.

It turns into a feeling.

Intrigued by the strange pull
We attempt to follow the untraceable, weaved confusion
Cutting and slicing ourselves among the spines
We feel content, though it be a painful intrusion.

It changes into a love.

We are long lost, but are enjoying every moment
Our sheer ignorance of the world around us
Enchants us with bliss, a numbing to outside pain
We have thrown care to the wind, becoming no longer cautious.

As it transforms into a passion.

We find ourselves ever deeper, having lost all emotions
Except for love, for excitement, imagination
Thorns still linger, throwing us off for a moment
But our lust for the emotion drives us back into action.

And suddenly
We are tricked.

Passion turns to resentment.
Imagination to non-fiction.
Excitement to a thirst for pain.
Love turns to Death.

Our pain becomes our life
And our light begins to wane
Using terror as our guide
We tread down a lane

Where there is no happy ending
And there is no light to shine
There is no way to see our path
And so the only way we see
Is through the pain we feel.

That's it for the features! Don't forget to these poems if you get the chance!

Wow, I haven't made a new journal in more than a month. The last one was me announcing 2,000 pageviews, but I've got more than that now, so it's kind of old. So, anyway, I'm working on a new story/novel thing now. It's called "Shades of Gray" and it's about this girl named Shanwa who goes to the underworld and save the day! Yay! I'm not telling anymore than that ! You'll just have to wait until I finish posting everything. Right now, I've done the prologue and the first two chapters! Yay! Um, I haven't been doing much drawing in a while because I've been working more on homework and my writing like with both poems and stories. Haha, yeah, I have to do homework...Even though I don't wanna. Lol

Aw, it's almost summer now. School's almost out and I won't see my friends 5 our of 7 days a week until next like August. Ugh, extreme boredom will soon take place. Get ready, guys ! Um, yeah. Weird...I'll be in the 8th grade next school year. I'm so young and yet so old! >>;

I also got Bleach volumes 26 and 27 in the manga a few days ago. I love Bleach, cuz it's amazing. Yay! And I also got this other manga called "Me and my Brothers." It's really funny. And I've gone to the library today and yeseterday so I have so many things to read...Bye!